The 29th

I awoke after an odd dream today, myself. It didn't occur to me to write about it here, until I read another blog with strange dreams cited. I do a good job of pushing aside my feelings associated with this day. I do a heckofa job keeping many personal details off this blog in the name of anonymity. Then, there's the list of priorities which I should get to instead of doing this...
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In an earlier dream, about a year ago, I had visited a memorial of many names. In the dream I found one space was devoted to my paternal gramps, who I miss terribly. Thanksgiving was always the time he traveled south for the winter (from Northern Maine) to spend several months at our house while I was growing up. Thanksgiving always has me thinking of him. In today's dream, I was revisiting the same memorial, n thought I'd be able to find Gramps space in the same spot. Wrong! It wasn't there, the memorial had been "upgraded" with additions. The name had been moved, so I searched n searched aisle after aisle, name by name. Finally I found a sign indicating the aphabetized section the name should be found in. Still no space like the last seen was found. My brother n his kids walked up the same Aisle, turned, said "Yup!" Then turned n left without helping me find it. I noticed a small alcove in the wall where he'd been. There were many pendants hanging up with small, typed, name labels under them, which I could barely read. Then I saw his tiny typed name under a small, black pendant on the small, crowded space, which was full of other pendants. It hardly seemed worth the pilgrimage.
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When I woke up, I realized it was strange to be looking for a Gramps memorial, when in reality, this day is the anniversary of my Mother's death. In the year 2000 we lost her this evening to disease. I've only visited the burial site of my parents a few times since they've both been gone. The thought of it being too late to visit the cemetary on the way back to the Cape from Turkey dinner up in Metro West had briefly occurred to me during my ride home. I knew my mother had made a point to visit the site of her parents markers each time she visited her old home town. I almost never think of doing that.
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I'm not big on visiting gravesites. I feel the influence n love of my parents being carried along with me, so don't feel I have to be there to connect with those feelings. But sometimes, it's a challenge to remember exactly how to find the sites I've been shown in the past, n so It's a challenge of mapping my way to the destination. When the landscape keeps changing, it can be tough after years of avoiding the place.
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I'd once been shown the family graves up in Maine, but missed Gramps getting buried in the spring after the ice thawed, so I understand that I'd have to really search for it to finally see it when I ever get up there again. Why I would be thinking of him in my subconscious instead of my mother is perplexing to me!
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This is a scan of an ancient Photograph from my past puter files. I'd just turned three that Holiday season in Taunton, MA. That's my Mom carving the turkey, n Big Sis with the smile. I was looking at my Dad's new cam over my brother's head, of course.
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This pic was taken well before Gramps had a need to go south for the frozen season. Lil Sis was still on the way. It was just before they bought the house in Metro West where so many grand holidays were spent even with my children growing up.
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So much time has passed. Now my grown children resemble this tired, hard working Mom getting their kids plates filled. The cycle of life keeps turning. The memories are more fond than sad now. This young, strong, devoted woman is the mind-picture of my Mother I choose to prefer over her older, after Dad passed on phase.
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I'm really good at pushing these sentimental moments to a very private spot where no one hears about them. My dream told me today, tho, to put up a public memorial for her here to find.
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Voila, ma Mere. Il et ici. Pacis.

Turkey

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Now that I'm sufficiently stuffed with holiday edibles, I sit here unwinding from the day's adventures.

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Little Truck made the trip without incident, n I'm very grateful to be home safe from my solitary travels. Near home the roads were deserted. Up near Brockton to Beantown, the highway got busy. The evening ride back was more crowded.

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The roads around Metro-West are more rife than usual with pothole obstacles. After the winter damage it's normal, but it still hasn't snowed there yet. The bumps will become canyons by springtime after the plows get done. Infrastucture takes a budget cut...

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It was one of the smallest Turkey gatherings I've attended in my life. We all fit into one room, at one table. A few invitees were unable to make the trip due to work n distance, but most missing folks managed to call to say hello during my short visit.

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The food was excellent, n we all chowed down n had a good visit. As always it was fun to see everyone, n little guys kept us on our toes n entertained.

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I'm thankful I got a new, large, brown-paper turkey on the fridge door to remind me of this day when I finally got to see special loved ones again.

I'm greatful everything in my zone went well, n was safe.

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Hearing the current news about terror attacks with hostages ongoing in Mumbai India, is very distressing. Must there always be dreaded violence against innocent bystanders n freedom? How do people get brainwashed into carrying out these insane, bloody assaults? How can humans do such things?

I know I can't purposely hurt others, n for that, I'm very thankful.

-Turkey Day News could've been better...

USA Thanks Week

Here we are all the way up to Thanksgiving week. It'll be a slow blogging week for all the long distance travelers for sure. I don't know how anyone can afford the whole week away from work.

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There are so few folks working the "normal" nine to five, Monday to Friday gig. When last I did, for a software company, even they made us work the Friday after!

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Many folks are required to work week-ends, n if the request for time off wasn't handed in a few months early, you're out of luck. Thursday is my regular Day Off most weeks, so I'm assuming I'll get it off, n I'm crossing the fingers. They've been known to change schedules the day before, n have totally messed up my plans sometimes. I won't be certain I can go until just the night before.

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I'll only be driving to metro-West of Beantown, an hour away from home. The challenge will be working the night before, n getting up to travel n eat when I'm not used to even being awake yet. Also, I'll have to find extra time to cook something to bring. I'll be working every night from now until that day.

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Everything I do adds up to more sleep deprivation. As I get older, I notice that I do so much better at tasks when I get a good eight hours of sleep in. That rarely happens lately. I haven't made any visits while rested in years. For sure, I'll be exhausted before, during, n right after the holiday.

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In my future I hope to have the option to have a rested, vacation-like holiday season to spend more quality time with my off-spring. Until then, I only get to spend a few tired hours before going back to my grind.

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Blog-reading n writing may suffer in the rushing about for Turkey Day. I don't get to relax, have time off, or enough time to do what I would in a typical week.

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So have safe travels, have a good week, remember to count your blessings, n express gratitude.

Thanks for reading ESR, n thank you for posting comments.

A Good Day

I woke up before usual, n got out in time to see the sun. I made it to the bluff, n the front beach, Finally, I took some pictures, breaking my first twenty-day hiatus all year.

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Aquinas didn't mind the 30F hill. (She's a statue). I wore many layers n froze in the wind. Where the hey did I put the hats last spring... The cold makes me feel old. We're doing the teens right now. The errands all got gone early, yippee-.

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I made it down the hill to visit with my young boy friends for dinner. They do a good job of cheering me up.

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Then I went to get fuel for Little Truck, n got five gallons for under ten bux!

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Does a day get better than this?

Fly West

On May first I chose a different scene to post from that evening. I still like this silhouettte against the sunset tho. I tend not to like the digi-cam zoom, because it's so difficult to get a clear focus without a tripod. I remember bracing my arms against the jette rocks that day, because the wind is always up at that spot.

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Actually, even tho the price of fuel is lower than it was when I started ESR, I'm reluctant to go anywhere I don't have to in the interests of getting stuff done around here, including rest.

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So much is on the itinerary for Day Off, that if even just a few things get underway besides laundry n raking, it's unlikely I'll spring for the side trip to this fav place before dark. This scenery is decidedly more interesting to me than sights out there in the cold the past week...

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Fly while you can, little gull, the sun will be gone too soon...

Filed Pilings

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I just found this view toward the east from the pier at sunset in the Aug '08 pic file. Strange what I choose not to post in favor of better choices at the time.

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I'm getting very relaxed n tired just looking at it! This is a very mellow scene... Time to crash, anyhow. Two more early shifts before Day Off. The weather's getting pretty frosty here finally (Brhhh in here 32F out there).

Two days ago it was 65F with tropical downpours, on the 15th of November in New England, which is difficult to believe. Ahhh, August, I remember that-

Sun Sea

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Here's a "Before Digi" photo, taken back in September '07 at my fav beach during sunset at low tide. I really like all the different textures I managed to squeeze into the frame. It was a rare thing to get back a bad photo on real film those days of using throw-away (800 asa) cams. I made each shutter release count, n used almost every shot taken.

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For the longest period of time all year, I haven't taken any new photographs. Two weeks seems like forever. Since I got my digi cam about a year ago, I've spent almost every Day Off deciding what to capture in the interest of keeping my readers entertained. Of course, I may've been more amused than ESR viewers, because I enjoyed the activity, especially the excuse to wander about observing.

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The past several weeks I've been hard pressed to do anything extra. Every Day Off has been tired, n full of things needed to do. In the past two weeks, all my awake time on Day Off has been rainy, overcast, n my outdoor activities limited to after dark. I haven't felt inspired by any sights that screamed "Picture!"
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All the leaves here are down now. The yard raking isin't done, altho much energy was put into night-raking the road out front to make it less treacherous when vehicles zoom over the hill.

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Until I'm more rested, n there are less clouds in the afternoons, there's no hope of getting out for walking sunshine shots nearby. The price of fuel is down finally, thank goodness! But, Little Truck needs more work for me to feel I can take extra side trips. I'm making all kinds of excuses, but most can be chaulked up to not feeling as good without enough rest, nutrition, n sunshine.

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I could cure all this if I didn't have to work to pay the rent... Oh well, I'm sure there's plenty of other fine sights to show at my fingertips, altho not current, (which I prefer), sitting here on Puter from the Old Days. This time of year, it'll be more likely I'll pull some of these out of my hat.

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It's nice to see the Sun on Bloggy, even if it's hiding from me in real life.

Blue

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I haven't seen a pretty blue sky in awhile. I took this about a month ago. The weather has been dreary all week. Now that the time change is in effect back to Eastern Standard Time, usually it's already getting dark out when I head out to work. I'll have a tougher time getting out earlier for more daylight pics.

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I got up late on Day Off. The movie "Armegedon" with Bruce Willis, Liv Tyler, n Ben Affleck was playing again. That movie is so emotionally charged, n I got sucked in for about the twentieth time yet again. "We win Gracey," I feel it everytime. A man who doesn't know how to fail, saves the planet with his personal sacrifice, so others may survive. The power of determination and love wins against long odds.

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I feel so drained. I raked the drain outside so many times I can't count. The forest of leaves is all over the road. What a long work-week, second in a row going to complete exhaustion. Why do I keep doing this? I think I don't know how to quit. I should be lazy, but I'm not. I should get off my tired feet, but keep walking on the blisters. I should sleep the entire time off, but make myself get out the door for errands before places close to check them off the list.

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The Energizer Bunny keeps going n going... I do too, until I'm allowed to collapse. Tomorrow another week of work begins with an early shift- One Day Off isin't enough to get to what I'd like to accomplish. Time is flying past me before I can catch my breath...

Best of Hues

How could anyone get tired of seeing this stuff? It's a shame my eyes can see this much better than my camera relays it to bloggy. Here's the hill n the woods across the street about as good as it gets, taken from the deck the other day. Red, yellow, green, n orange putting on a show in the afternoon sun.

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A rain storm is going on now- n most of the leaves are wet on the road I noticed driving back here tonight. An ocean storm is in for the next couple days to take down some more. I'm going crazy trying to keep the storm-drain from clogging up with leaves so my road doesn't flood. At least it's warm, no indoor heat required.

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I got roped into working on my Day Off again- n really shouldn't be playing here right now. I gotta get up for an early shift after working a late one again. I'm so burnt out from doing this OT all the time, but what better way to unwind after work is there? Time is at a premium.

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The sights are free. The hill won't look this nifty again for some time.

Novembre Tempo

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The "fall back" an hour to standard time is tonight, n I'm looking forward to it.

I've been so exhausted n sleep deprived, I may never feel rested, but that extra hour to get ready for work will help a bit until I'm used to the time schedule again.

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My village seems to have reached the peak of fall colors. Almost all the trees are turned, n most aren't bare yet. I went uptown to check out the bluffs n the pier before sundown n took pics. There were some of those nifty, bright, orange, bittersweet berries above the bathhouse on the bluff.

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My hands noticed the breezy wind-chill temps. I should've brought my leather gloves. It's about that time, it's November... Several fam n friends birthdays will be blowing by. I feel alot older lately. Mostly because I get the "Ol' Rhuematiz settin' in" with the cold. I haven't been feelin too good lately-

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The Election is just a couple days away. I can't wait 'til it's over so the campaign nastiness will end. I'm so sick of the news n neg-commercials.

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McCain again just appeared live on SNL. He n Palin seem to be getting tonz of freebie commercials thru "Week-end Update" on that show, as if they are cool dudes. It's also been re-airing ad-nauseum on other nights n on news shows.

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Folks keep asking me if I'm gonna vote. My standard answer, "I don't know." Because of work I'd have to not get enough sleep to do that. They also moved the polling place, so instead of walking I'll have to drive. It all depends on work difficulty the previous shift, n if I can wake up with enough time to wait in line, n still get to work.

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The colder it gets, the more I want to slow down n find more sleep time. The tempo of keeping up with things needing to be done hasn't gone down at all yet tho...